dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
