He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
