I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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