More tranny stories later!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
