therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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