I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize