What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's always time for handjobs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
