Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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