I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
