Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize