I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
