We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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