is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
