they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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