so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
