I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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