fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
