I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
