Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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