Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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