oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is Oprah even human
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
