I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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