Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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