What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
