It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
