oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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