Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize