"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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