Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
