Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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