: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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