please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
