i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I did not marry a roomba.
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