I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
