one might say we're banned from that church
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
