i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
