This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
