whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
