I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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