Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
