he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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