I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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