he puts the penis in happiness.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
