Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
