So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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