It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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