Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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