Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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