New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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