i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is my gift to your gina
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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