If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have aggressive nipples.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
