Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
