Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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