whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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