lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
