Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
