Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
