Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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