i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
