Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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