Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Randomize
