i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
