Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
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It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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