I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets