I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
