when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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